You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.
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These bar charts
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
the
diffirance
Correct your spelling
difference
differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
percentage between 1995 and 2010 of people inside and outside
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
clear from the chart that
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
of people born in
ceities
Correct your spelling
cities
in and out
Change preposition
of australia
show examples
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
and in both years account for the highest
rate
Use synonyms
.
while
Linking Words
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
of people born in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
and towns has been decreased
According to
Linking Words
what is shown , in 1995 the
rate
Use synonyms
of born in the
ceties
Correct your spelling
cities
outside
Austrial
Correct your spelling
Australia was
higher than inside, and it remain as it
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
2010.
While
Linking Words
, the birth in the rural area has been generally
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
decreased
show examples
from 1995 to 2010 , and
Correct article usage
the lowet
show examples
lowet
Correct your spelling
lowest
lower
percentage was outside Austerial in 2010 (around 8%) ,
Although
Linking Words
the number of birth dropped in town ,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it shows
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
than
rural
Change preposition
in rural
show examples
areas in 2010 outside Austerial and almost equal inside.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that, between both years
rate
Use synonyms
of born in
ceties
Correct your spelling
cities
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
show examples
its place ,
while
Linking Words
the drop noticed in towns and rural areas.
Submitted by meajaberi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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