IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays,
science
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 is promoted to a very high stage and some
people
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 think that the most
esstential
Correct your spelling
essential
mean
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means
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 of
science
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 aim to is should be to develop
human's
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human
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 lives. In general,
science
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 has been
appealed
Verb problem
applied
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 in most human activities. I think that most of
Add an article
the invention
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invention
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inventions
show examples
 from
science
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is
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are
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 to improve
people
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's lives but some of them
is
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are
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 useless and
in
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contrast
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contrast,
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 some invention is born to
devast lifes
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devastate lives
.
Firstly
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, there
is
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are
show examples
 some inventions
has
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that have
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 contributed a lot of benefits to
human
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humans
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 which can
mention
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be mentioned
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 are electric devices, washing
chemical
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chemicals
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,
architectual
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architectural
 and hospital
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.
For example
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, washing
chemical
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chemicals
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 is a significant chemistry invention
such
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 as soap can kill bacteria
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the main cause of disease. Another example is the electric devices, that help
people
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 reduce manual force and use
to
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it to
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 make complex pieces.
Bt
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But
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 some
of
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apply
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electric devices make
people
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 become lazier.
On the other hand
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,
science
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also
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create
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creates
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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weapons. Some
people
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 claim that it
use
Wrong verb form
is used
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 to protect and defend but I think that it
mainly
Add a missing verb
is mainly
show examples
 for killing
human
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humans
show examples
.
For instance
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, in
word war
Correct your spelling
World War
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 I and II,
people
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use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
science
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for
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to
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 create guns, tanks, variety of
bomb
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bombs
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, and the most
noticable
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noticeable
notable
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 the nuclear bomb which
kill
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killed
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a
lots
Correct quantifier usage
lot
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 and
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 land cannot live anymore. Recently the government have made
rule
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rules
show examples
 to reduce
create
Verb problem
the number of
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gun
Fix the agreement mistake
guns
show examples
. In conclusion,
science
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 is appealing in many fields and become a necessary thing to enhance human lives;
however
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, it
still
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is still
show examples
 a main factor
to destroy
Change preposition
in destroying
show examples
 life.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread for basic grammar and spelling errors, such as 'esstential' instead of 'essential' and 'architectual' instead of 'architectural'.
task response
Clarify your main points and support them with more detailed examples and explanations. For example, specify more concrete examples of science improving lives, and further elaborate on how some scientific advancements can be harmful.
coherence cohesion
Develop the ideas in each paragraph more fully. Present a clear argument in each paragraph and ensure each one ties back to your main thesis effectively.
introduction conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid structure for your argument.
supported main points
You address both the benefits and drawbacks of scientific advancements, demonstrating a balanced perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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