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Band 6.5

Chart A below shows the rate of oil consumption (in millions of barrel)in a small country from 1950 to 2010.Chart B shows the number of people employed in the oil industry in that country,and also the rate of unemployment throughout the country over the same time.

Chart A below shows the rate of oil consumption (in millions of barrel)in a small country from 1950 to 2010.Chart B shows the number of people employed in the oil industry in that country,and also the rate of unemployment throughout the country over the same time.
#rate #oil #consumption #millions #barrel #country #b #people #industry #unemployment #time
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The line graph illustrates the consumption of grease
while
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 the bar chart shows the
persons
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people
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 who are working in the oil industry and the number of
unemployments
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unemployment
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 in the country from 1950 to 2010. The units of measurement are
million
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millions
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 of barrels , a
thounsand
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thousand
 and
pencentages
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percentages
percentage
respetively
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respectively
. As we can see, there were similar trends between
chart
Capitalize word
Chart
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 A and employed individuals starting in 1950 until 1970. Both of the paces were slightly increased in digits but eventually fell to the initial numeral.
However
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, in 2010, a positive turn
whereas
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 both have significant peak points ended with 50 million
of
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apply
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barrels and 3100 people, respectively.
Not to mention
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, the figure
of
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for
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unemployments
Fix the agreement mistake
unemployment
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 had
the
Correct article usage
a
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 higher proportion
with
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of
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 4% in 1950 but surprisingly dropped to 1.6% after 60 years.
Overall
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,
consider
Wrong verb form
considering
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 the high demands on the
utilize
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utilisation
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 of oil in the communities over the past decades, more and more job
opportunies
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opportunities
 have been created in
such
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 industries thereby joblessness in these years had reduced.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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