IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently bought a piece of équipement for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter Describe the problem with the equipment Explain what happened when you phoned the shop Say what you would like the manager to do

#piece #équipement #kitchen #work #shop #action #manager #equipment
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Dear Sir / Mme
I'am
Correct your spelling
I am
 writing
this
 letter to inform you about a
problem
 with your
campany
Correct your spelling
company
. I presenting in
this
 letter the details of
this
problem
.
Firstly
, I bought a microwave
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 your
campany
Correct your spelling
company
last
 week. In the moment of
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
,
this
 microwave did not
fonction
Correct your spelling
function
. I
readed
Correct your spelling
read
show examples
 the guide of use more than 3 times and I don't understand the
problem
.
Secondly
, I phoned the
shop
 where I bought the microwave.
Also
, I had
a problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
a problem
problems
show examples
 with
this
shop
.
First,
no person responded to the call for 3 days. After that, the seller responded
me
Change preposition
to me
show examples
 and mentioned that the director of the
shop
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the only person who
discuss
Wrong verb form
discussed
show examples
 with him
this
problem
. He gives me another number.
On the other hand
, my conversation with the director was not
interessant
Correct your spelling
interesting
. He mentioned that the
problem
needs
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 a technical consultation and the
shop
 did not
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
this
 service. I realised
this
 service
on
Add a missing verb
was on
show examples
 my way.
Finally
,
I'am
Correct your spelling
I am
 asking your
campany
Correct your spelling
company
 to return
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
my money
includ
Correct your spelling
include
including
 the fees
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 technical consultation.
I'am
Correct your spelling
I am
waiting
Add the preposition
waiting for
show examples
 your response
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 my letter. Yours Sincerely Rabeb
Submitted by rabebhamdi on

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coherence and cohesion
You should clearly organize your letter into paragraphs. This increases readability and helps to convey your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
It's important to maintain a polite and professional tone throughout the letter, ensuring that the language and expressions are formal.
coherence and cohesion
You described each problem step-by-step, making it easy to follow the issue you faced.
task achievement
You provided a complete response by explaining the problem, what happened when you contacted the shop, and what you expect to be done about it.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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