IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The barchart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#barchart #minutes #billions #telephone #australia #three #categories #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the duration of local, national
and
Correct word choice
apply
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international and mobile calls that
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 taken in Australia
within
Change preposition
from
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 2001 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 more
time
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 spent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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local calls, the lowest
time
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 was used
for
Change preposition
on
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 mobile calls.
Although
Linking Words
 the demand for
the
Remove the article
apply
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both national-international conversations and mobile calls depicted
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 increasing trend , that of local calls fluctuated. A glance at the bar chart reveals that, in 2001 mobile phone usage was not much popular and only 2
billion
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of
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apply
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minutes
Use synonyms
 were spent on it. By the way, for the next 4
years
Add a comma
years,
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 mobile phone usage increased slightly and raised to 12
billion
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 in 2005. Since
there
Correct your spelling
then
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,the demand
was
Verb problem
has
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 elevated significantly and
finally
Linking Words
 by 2008 , 46
billion
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minutes
Use synonyms
 were consumed for mobile phone calls.
Besides
Linking Words
, in means of national and international calls in 2001, it used a considerable
time
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 of 38
billion
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minutes
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 and after
it's
Correct your spelling
its
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 usage eventually in 2008 it was demanded up to 61
billion
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minutes
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, local calls, which was the highest
in
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apply
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each year, used 72
billion
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minutes
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 in 2008,
and
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 was twice
as
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apply
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the amount of
time
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 which was the second largest call type in 2008. It reported a peak value of 90
billion
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minutes
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 in 2005, after accounting
78
Change preposition
for 78
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, 85 and 89 in 2002 ,2003 and 2004 respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, for the next three consecutive years, local calls utilized
time
Use synonyms
 which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 similar to the
time
Use synonyms
 used in 2003 2002 and 2001.
Submitted by oriexam6 on

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coherence cohesion
Include a clearer introduction and conclusion to enhance the essay's structure.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs to improve coherence.
task achievement
Ensure accurate use of tenses and subject-verb agreement for better clarity.
task achievement
The essay provides a good summary of the data presented in the bar chart.
task achievement
The main features and trends were identified and supported with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical sequence in presenting the data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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