IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and percentages per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.

The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and percentages per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.
#percentage #people #five #portions #fruit #percentages #uk
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The bar chart depicts the consumption of five portions of
fruit
Use synonyms
 and vegetables in British
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people
Change noun form
people's
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 daily life between 2001 and 2008 in
percentage
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, There are different percentages among groups of
people
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 which are
men
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,
women
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 and kids. The
most
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apply
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highest
percentage
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 of vegetable consumers are
women
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. Especially, in 2006 the
percentage
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 was about 35 per cent compared to
men
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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consume
Wrong verb form
consumed
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fruit
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 just less than 30 per cent.
In contrast
Linking Words
, children
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the group of
people
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 that less consume fruits and vegetables.
In
Change preposition
From
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 2001 to 2003, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
fruit
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 consumption
percentage
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 of children was just only about 10% per cent compared to
women
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 and
men
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. To summarise, Youngers who
lived
Wrong verb form
live
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 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the group of
people
Use synonyms
 who
ate
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fruit
Use synonyms
 and vegetables than
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by matty10 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words fruit, people, percentage, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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