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Band 5.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.
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The graph demonstrates the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 born in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and who were born outside
Australia
Use synonyms
 living in different places namely cities, countryside, and towns over a 5-year period, starting in 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
, the bar chart witnessed several changes after 5 years. It is
also
Linking Words
 clear that the number of citizens who were born outside
Australia
Use synonyms
 and live in cities remained at the highest rate throughout the given course. In 1995, the rate of
people
Use synonyms
 who were born in
Australia
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 living in cities stood at around 50% and grew slightly to over 60% in 2010,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for
people
Use synonyms
 who were born outside
Australia
Use synonyms
 was considerably higher than
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
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, with 60%
initially
Linking Words
 and rose drastically by 20%, reaching 80% in the 5 following years
Regarding the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 percentage of citizens who were born in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and lived in towns and rural started out at approximately 20% and 35% respectively, after which suffered a dramatic drop and recorded having the same figure, nearly 18%. Similar patterns were
also
Linking Words
 seen in the rates of
people
Use synonyms
 who were born outside
Australia
Use synonyms
 in towns and rural areas, with 18% for the former and 40% for the latter, both recorded in 1995.
Then
Linking Words
, those figures reduced sharply to under 15% and 10% respectively
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographics
  • urbanization
  • migration patterns
  • population distribution
  • percentage points
  • growth rate
  • decline
  • trend analysis
  • socioeconomic factors
  • infrastructure development
  • rural exodus
  • census data
  • lifestyle changes
  • residential patterns
  • immigration policies
  • emigration
  • natural increase
  • birth rate
  • settlement patterns
  • push and pull factors
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