IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many employers find that their new employees lack sufficient interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work with colleagues as a team. What are the causes? Can you suggest some possible solutions?

#employers #employees #lack #skills #ability #work #colleagues #team
some employers see that some new
employees
 have a
problem
 with sufficient interpersonal
skills
such
 as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 ability to
work
 in a group with colleagues.Well,
therer
Correct your spelling
there
 are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of causes for
this
problem
 and I will give some solutions for it. On the one hand ,the main cause for
this
problem
 is that some
companies
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 their
employees
 without some
requirments
Correct your spelling
requirements
such
 as interpersonal
skills
 and that will lead to some
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
 problems.
However
, that
problem
 is not the
companies
Change noun form
company's
show examples
 issue only as it's
a
Change the article
an
show examples
employees
Change noun form
employee's
show examples
 issue
also
 because they didn't get
a proprite
Correct word choice
proper
show examples
 training before looking for a job and that will affect the general
improving
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
 in the
work
 area.
On the other hand
,there are some possible solutions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem
.First of all, host
companies
 can give some free courses for their
employees
 in order to improve their sufficient interpersonal
skills
 and that will help the company to reduce the side effects of
this
problem
.
Moreover
,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of conditions can be put
by
Change preposition
in by
show examples
 the company in order to find better employers for
this
 job and that will help to
dicrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
increase
 the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees
 who have lacking in sufficient interpersonal
skills
such
 as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
In addition
,if the employers
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 lack
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 sufficient interpersonal
skills
 from some new
employees
 they could
guid
Correct your spelling
guide
 them and give them a
biref
Correct your spelling
brief
 idea about the
skills
 which can help them to be better
team
 workers. To
conlclude
Correct your spelling
conclude
 we can say that,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
employees
 have the
problem
 of lacking
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sufficient interpersonal
skills
 and that will affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
general
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
 so
companies
 should impose some rules in order to reduce
this
problem
.
Submitted by yousefreyad55 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a good understanding of the task and fairly addresses the issues and solutions. However, ensure that each point is clearly linked to the next for better coherence.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly with specific examples to support your arguments. This will enhance your argument and strengthen your essay's overall impact.
general
It’s important to proofread your work to catch minor errors. For example, 'therer' should be 'there' and 'alot' should be 'a lot'.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments well.
task achievement
You correctly identified and discussed both causes and solutions related to the lack of interpersonal skills among new employees.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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