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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in the summer and winter Olympics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in the summer and winter Olympics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar illustrates the countries with the highest number of
gold
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, silver, and bronze
medals
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 achieved in the
Winter
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 and Summer
Olympics
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the
Winter
Use synonyms
Olympics
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, the data highlighted the three numbers of
medals
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 earned in each country. It was shown that Norway was dominating in the
Winter
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Olympics
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 with the highest amount of all the
medals
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 with 125
gold
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, 130 silver, and more than 100 bronze
medals
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 in one season. In the runner-up, it was the United States with a total number of 310
medals
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 achieved, where the numbers of
gold
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 and silver
medals
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 were around 110
medals
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.
While
Linking Words
 Russia
,
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apply
show examples
 and Canada had about the same value of
gold
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medals
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 earned, Germany had a total of 240
medals
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in the Summer
Olympics
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, the United States made it all the way up to first place with a total number of 2500
medals
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 in total. When comparing
to
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apply
show examples
Russia and Germany, they both had similar numbers of
medals
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 earned with an estimate of 1700 to 1800. The countries with less than 100
medals
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 earned were Great Britain and France around 700 to 800
medals
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 were earned by them. In conclusion, in the
Winter
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 Leagues, Norway was dominating other countries in winning
medals
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.
While
Linking Words
 in Summer leagues, the United States was the most dominant one.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gold, medals, winter, olympics with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • medal tally
  • top-performing countries
  • notable differences
  • highlight trends
  • summer vs. winter Olympics
  • significant differences
  • overall performance
  • comparative analysis
  • dominance in events
  • athletic prowess
  • statistical comparison
  • consistency in winning
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