The bar chart below shows employment figures in different tourism-related industries between 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows employment figures in different tourism-related industries between 2009 and 2019.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.
The chart represents the total number of
employment
rate in several hospitality-related industries between 2009 and 2019. In 2009, accommodation industries,
such
as hotels had the most workers, which was 1 million employees, followed by
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
industry
, which had 300 thousand
people
working. The food
industry
was placed
third,
which had 700000 workers,
while
the cultural and
travel
industry
had the least
employment
.
However
, it seemed that the cultural
industry
had more employees rather than the
travel
industry
.
Nonetheless
, in 2019, the hotel reached 1200000
people
working for them. As for the food sector, the
employment
rate increased by 70%
as well as
sports
Add an article
the sports
show examples
industry
. The number of workers in the culture and
travel
industry
also
went up with the proportion of
people
working in it, which was higher than
people
working in the cultural sector.
To sum up
, over a decade the total number of
employment
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
increased in every tourism-related
industry
.
However
, when being seen regularly,
people
prefer working in the hotel, sports, and
travel
industries to working in the
travel
and cultural sectors.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, industry, people, travel with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!