Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion.
Dangerous or restricted spots can be viewed as an adventure for some people, but
nonetheless
, the risks that come with venturing to such
places can not be ignored. In spite of that, I think that people should be able to choose what they want to do.
A fact that is
often overlooked is the training, moreover
, experience that the adventurers have before venturing to such
areas. Despite, the consequences that come with traversing it can not be completely dismissed, if we were to have proper preparation beforehand, the probability of anything terrible happening will decrease significantly. For instance
, If we were to climb Mount Everest, it would be smart to prepare with endurance training with lower oxygen before climbing, since there is not much air at the top of the mountain. Having proper hiking gear would also
be great for your safety.
Another important point that must be mentioned is that it does not hurt to keep dangerous spots open as long as warnings are provided beforehand. Often or not, citizens wander to dangerous places without understanding what might happen to them if they do so. We humans are curious beings, so, unless we are told that a certain location can be threatening for our lives. A good example of this
is caves, a select amount of teenagers are keen on going into caves in towns that are yet to be fully documented by experts, it might seem harmless to take a little stroll inside it, however
truth to be told there are countless hazards lurking inside the cave that can bring harm.
In conclusion, after taking everything into consideration, we can avoid most of the peril that comes from perilous zones, through devising a proper plan and placing proper warnings on such
places.Submitted by riani.the2 on
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task achievement
Your introduction could be enhanced by outlining both views more clearly before presenting your opinion. This ensures a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The main points you discussed are clear, but they could benefit from more specific examples and elaboration to fully develop the ideas.
coherence cohesion
Avoid some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases to improve clarity. For instance, 'dangerous or restricted spots' should be 'dangerous sports or activities' and the word 'nonetheless' should not begin a sentence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical structure. This will help improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points and reiterates your opinion, providing a clear end to the discussion.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both views, which shows good task achievement.