Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion.
Recently, there has been a lot of debate about the emergence of dangerous
sports
in
Change preposition
apply
the
worldwide. Some argue that Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment shoud
take Correct your spelling
government should
a
note Correct article usage
apply
on
Change preposition
of
this
activity, while
others have a different perspective that people should be freely
to choose what they like to do. Change the word
free
Therefore
, I will discuss my point of view in the following essay.
Many types of dangerous sports
provide people with nerve-wracking emotions. By taking risks in doing sports
that involve a certain level of danger, people will experience an incredible increase in adrenaline which they believe is a worth-taking
Correct your spelling
worthwhile
activities
. Change the noun form
activity
However
, practicing
it without Change the spelling
practising
further
consideration will bring many harms
, Fix the agreement mistake
much harm
such
as serious injuries due to
unwanted accidents. By taking
a step Change preposition
Taking
with
banning these Change preposition
toward
sports
could reduce the number of preventable accidents and the associated medical costs, which ultimately benefits public health and safety
.
Furthermore
, despite of
its demerits, some individuals believe that there should be Change preposition
apply
a
freedom to make their own choices, including engaging in activities they are passionate about, whether it is Correct article usage
apply
safety
or not. Many athletes are taught to take Replace the word
safe
a
Correct article usage
apply
neccessary
action in taking important precautions and training excessively to minimize risks. Yet, those precautions could not guarantee them Correct your spelling
necessary
form
the unwanted actions Correct your spelling
from
happened
in the future. I believe it is more important to give some approaches that could push individuals towards less risky hobbies, promoting a healthier society Correct pronoun usage
that happened
overall
.
In conclusion, rather than imposing outright bans, governments should focus on improving safety
regulations, providing better education on risks, and ensuring proper medical care for those who engage in extreme activities which would bring a balance between safety
and personal freedom of doing dangerous sports
.Submitted by riani.the2 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points; this will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the question are equally addressed to achieve a balanced argument between the two views.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph, which will enhance the logical flow of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more logical progression of ideas within paragraphs to enhance overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines the topic and states your intention to discuss both views.
coherence cohesion
There is a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint quite effectively, suggesting a balanced approach regarding dangerous sports.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the topic, which demonstrates an understanding of the task.