IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The map shows the town of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map shows the town of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 what is shown , in 1930 the
town
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of Stockeford consisted of significant farmland spaces and
minority
Add an article
a minority
the minority

The noun phrase minority seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
 of houses compared to the
town
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in 2010 where many living areas have been built around the
town
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 . By looking at the north side , there are 2 aspects that contain a large number of houses . The post office , bridge and
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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river stocks are still in the same places during the 16 decades . In 2010 the garden was shrunk into a smaller area and the large house was reconstructed into a retirement home .
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the farmlands
was
Verb problem
had

There may be a verb use issue here.

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 completely disappeared from the
town
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and the 2 shops either. The primary school was at it is the same place but 2 large buildings were built beside it .
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 we could say ,
by
Correct word choice
that by

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 2010 the farmlands were completely demolished and the living population number was clearly increased by a huge ratio in the
town
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 .

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words town with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • town
  • population
  • transformed
  • bustling
  • road network
  • residential areas
  • industrial sites
  • commercial zones
  • river
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • schools
  • hospitals
  • shopping centers
  • educational facilities
  • healthcare facilities
  • urbanization
  • development
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