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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.

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The working environment is rapidly
chage
Correct your spelling
changing
 and
people
Use synonyms
 who
Use synonyms
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 cannot depend only
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the same occupation or working conditions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 continue their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the causes that possibly appear in
this
Linking Words
 massive change and the
suggesting
Replace the word
suggested
show examples
 method for preparing employees for future work
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
. On one hand, the causes of many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
works
Use synonyms
 changing rapidly in
this
Linking Words
 modern era
due to
Linking Words
 the demand of
market
Correct article usage
the market
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 and globalisation.
The technological
Correct article usage
Technological
show examples
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
appearing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
artifical
Correct your spelling
artificial
Intelligent
Replace the word
Intelligence
show examples
one
Add a missing verb
are one
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 of
Use synonyms
things
Correct article usage
the things
show examples
 that caused great
lay-off
Correct your spelling
layoffs
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happened
Verb problem
apply
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in the world of work.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are no boundaries in transactional
things
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 are easily can do anything by their phone. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, the occupation that needs
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 can easily changed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
another
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
Use synonyms
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 should improve their skills to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job that cannot be changed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
occupation like Public Relations, Policeman,
and
Correct word choice
or
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 any
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 job that
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 real person to present.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if someone
learn
Change the verb form
learns
show examples
 about new skills, or
improving
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
 their hobbies that can make money, they not only enrich their
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 but
also
Linking Words
 they can earn more money with the
things
Use synonyms
 that they have got.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the improvement in
this
Linking Words
 digital era may help someone to do what they want to,
people
Use synonyms
 can sell their
works
Use synonyms
,
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
, and
anythings
Fix the agreement mistake
anything
show examples
 just only from their smartphone and they will be connected to the
people
Use synonyms
 who need them. In conclusion, the effect of
massive
Add an article
a massive
show examples
 change
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world of
works
Use synonyms
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 us
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 and negative
things
Use synonyms
. The good one is we can easily earn money anywhere from our skills or hobbies just from our gadgets.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 the negative is the company can fire us anytime they would.

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses each part of the prompt evenly. Expand on the suggestions for preparing people for the future world of work with specific examples and detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining the logical flow between points. Use clearer topic sentences and transition phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct small errors and awkward phrasings. Understanding the proper usage of articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement will significantly enhance clarity.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the topic and purpose of the essay, setting a clear framework for the discussion.
complete response
The essay addresses both the causes of the changing working environment and potential ways to prepare for it, showing an understanding of the prompt's requirements.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Robotics
  • Globalization
  • Outsourcing
  • Freelance work
  • Flexibility
  • Job Security
  • Education reform
  • Critical thinking
  • Adaptability
  • Continuous education
  • Retraining programs
  • Legislation
  • Corporate responsibility
  • Competitive edge
  • Work-life balance
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