Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of wether the course is useful to an employee. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university.?

Universities
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
in charge of producing
Correct article usage
a numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of graduates carrying the
knowledge
they learned. Many
people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that
students
who
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
to
universities
must acquire the skills and
knowledge
they need in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
in the
future
.
However
,
universities
Correct article usage
the universities
show examples
main role is to just provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
general
education
regardless of its importance to
students
who attained their
education
. There are
people
who are uncertain of their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
and just want to attend
universities
just to obtain degrees or courses for them to have
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reserved in the
future
. They
acquired
Wrong verb form
acquire
show examples
general
education
that is
useful whether in the
career
that they want in the
future
or not. Undecided
students
will opt to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
in college without really thinking
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
their
course
should be and
instead
just taking their safe
course
as a reservation but still helping them in the
future
. For them, though, it's their
course
, they still
obtaineda
Correct your spelling
obtained a
obtained
degree with
knowledge
. Each
universities
Change to a singular noun
university
show examples
has its own prospectus of whatever
course
or
field
they chose. With
this
matter, an
education
that they must conduct should have a specific area of learning and at the
time
Correct word choice
same time
show examples
learning general
knowledge
that every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
must have. There's no
course
that provides all
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
or
knowledge
that they
suppose
Wrong verb form
are supposed
show examples
to have in their
career
.
Example
Correct article usage
An example
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
is in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
field
, nurses and doctors must have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
specific
field
of learning their scope.
To conclude
, many
people
are undecided and still want to obtain degrees. These are the
people
that don't need a specific
education
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
career
in the
future
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are some courses
such
as in
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
field
that must go through these subjects or
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
for them to succeed in their
career
.
Submitted by dhowardjacob on

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task achievement
Revise the introduction to make your position clearer and set the context more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument with relevant examples and develop your ideas further.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Ensure transitions between paragraphs and points are smooth and logical.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and improve sentence structure for better clarity and elegance.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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