Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no one on
this
planet who does not like to get a raise but the question is at what price? In my opinion, a hefty salary is always something we should aspire for but after a certain amount of money, it’s the satisfaction
while
doing a
job
that will keep you motivated and take you places in the long run,
therefore
I do not agree with the statement. In
this
essay, we will discuss arguments favouring both sides. Steve Jobs once said
Add the punctuation
,
show examples
“Your work is going to cover a large part of your life so make sure that you keep looking till you find your passion, don’t settle”. Having a
job
that does not excite you or give you a sense of achievement kills the ability of an individual’s mind to think out of the box.
For instance
, can you imagine a person who spends 10 hours daily at his
job
and is not really happy or excited towards it despite taking home a big cheque at each month's end?
Such
people tend to get less productive with time as they are lost for purpose in life, which eventually affects their personal lives as well. A contrary view to
this
opinion could be that people who come from nothing have to scrap their way up to the top and provide financial security to their families even if it is through a
job
that does not necessarily align with their passion.
While
I agree with
this
view, I believe there is a diminishing marginal utility effect with money wherein after a certain amount, it is no longer the differentiator.
To conclude
, I would say that the importance of money cannot be underestimated, but having a
job
where your heart feels content will help an individual propel in life.
Submitted by nihalshetty384 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your task response is quite strong as you have effectively addressed the topic and provided relevant examples. Continue to balance both sides of an argument, but try to provide a bit more detail to strengthen your points even further.
coherence and cohesion
You demonstrated good coherence and cohesion with a logical structure and clear introduction and conclusion. The transitions between paragraphs are smooth. However, adding more linking words and phrases could enhance the overall flow.
task response
Your examples are relevant and add value to your arguments. To further improve, you could incorporate additional specific examples or data to make your points more compelling.
introduction
You began with a strong introduction that clearly states your stance and sets the tone for the essay. This helps in achieving a high score for coherence.
task response
The use of a quote from Steve Jobs effectively supports your argument and makes the essay more engaging. This is a good technique for illustrating points.
conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and restates your opinion, contributing to a high score for coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: