First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
no
doubts
Fix the agreement mistake
doubt
show examples
, that the picture that
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unknown individual forms in the mind of a person who meets with him
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
time is crucial. I agree with people, who believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
performance in an interview is the main factor
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
achieving
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nice work.
To begin
with, the ability to
perfome
Correct your spelling
perform
under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure will be considered as the making
impression
Correct article usage
an impression
show examples
on an interviewer factor.
For instance
, McKinsey firm has
extremely
Correct article usage
an extremely
show examples
hard selection process and organizes
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
where a
candidate
has to solve a business case without any preparation.
This
is because, in
stress
Add a comma
stress,
show examples
the potential employee behaves exactly the same as she does at work in McKinsey.
Moreover
, the human resource manager observes other skills of the
candidate
such
as
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
,
decission
Correct your spelling
decision
making, and analytical performance. Alternatively, a person who could not show the ability to be
cold blooded
Add a hyphen
cold-blooded
show examples
and
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
have
apropriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
particular
job
features will not get
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
offer. As for
second
Add an article
the second
show examples
reason, why doing well in interviews is pivotal for securing a good
job
, the meaning of presenting
Correct article usage
the candidates
show examples
candidates
Change noun form
candidates'
candidate's
show examples
background will be explained. It is hard to deny, that
previouse achivements
Correct your spelling
previous achievements
are not crucial.
Such
practice
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
observe
Wrong verb form
be observed
show examples
in BCG company hiring process, where
a
Change the article
an
show examples
interviewer asks for results in former jobs.
In other words
, facts, figures, percentages, and indicators of
exeptional
Correct your spelling
exceptional
outcomes may persuade
an
Change the article
a
show examples
hiring manager to give that
job
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
candidate
.
As a result
, a company could get a new employee with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
potencial
Correct your spelling
potential
of perfect acting at work. In conclusion, I believe that an event where
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
can get
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
is
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
and a
candidate
, who acts well and shows achievements from the past, makes
impression
Correct article usage
an impression
show examples
on an interviewer, ensuring
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
an
apropriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
job
.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and word choices to improve accuracy. Examples include 'a unknown' should be 'an unknown' and 'perfome' should be 'perform.'
style
Work on sentence variety and complexity to make the essay more engaging. Currently, the sentence structures are somewhat repetitive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a single clear main idea supported by multiple details and examples. For instance, your second paragraph could better clarify how these specific skills relate to the job requirements.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are both present and serve their purposes effectively.
task response
The essay includes specific examples, such as the hiring processes at McKinsey and BCG, which help to support the points you are making.
task achievement
You successfully address the topic by providing reasons why doing well in interviews is important for securing a good job. This demonstrates your understanding of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • First impressions
  • Interviews
  • Securing
  • Communication
  • Preparation
  • Research
  • Performance
  • Qualifications
  • Confidence
  • Body language
  • Networking
  • Recommendations
  • Follow-up
  • Technology
  • Social media
What to do next:
Look at other essays: