the diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The three maps below provide the adjustments that have occurred in West Park Secondary
School
from 1950 to 2010. In 1950, there was a main road located at the top of the map.
Furthermore
, there were just four basic buildings in the city including houses, a
school
, and farmland in the bottom left-hand corner, and
also
the playground in the bottom right-hand corner. Thirty years later, in 1980, some facilities were changed.
Firstly
, many houses had been replaced by car parking and
also
the science block, which was the expansion of the
school
. In fact, the
school
had been extended into two parts, which were the scientific part and the main building of the
school
. The farmland had been renovated to be a sports field for the people.
However
, the playground and main road were still in the same position. In 2010, the car park had been extended to be larger than in 1980.
Moreover
, the playground was smaller than the previous which was substituted by the sports field.
Nevertheless
, West Park Secondary
School
still remained
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
road and the two parts of the
school
, the science block and
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
feature, as the same as in 1980.
Submitted by matty10 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • renovation
  • expansion
  • modernization
  • infrastructure
  • landscape
  • facade
  • demolition
  • construction
  • alteration
  • amenities
  • accessibility
  • sustainability
  • curriculum
  • enrollment
  • pedagogy
  • architecture
  • commute
  • heritage preservation
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