Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other counties have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#economy #goods #basics #counties #distance

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These days because of

global

Add an article

the global

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economy

Use synonyms

, most of

Use synonyms

products

Add an article

the products

show examples

we use including what

are

Change the verb form

show examples

used

Change preposition

for

show examples

our basic and daily use are produced by other counties.

Linking Words

Capitalize word

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a result, they must be transported

for

Change preposition

apply

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a long way.

This

Linking Words

essay is going to discuss the advantages which will outweigh the disadvantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

, one of the merits of

this

Linking Words

process which will bring to the country

economy

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is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

counties could have good wealth too,

besides

Linking Words

capital cities or main cities, by selling their

products

Use synonyms

. So, their citizens are not forced to travel to the capital city for a better life.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

operation may lead to the growth of

financial

Correct article usage

the financial

show examples

economy

Use synonyms

system; to be more specific, imagine a dairy farm. By producing milk, cheese or yogurt and selling them to other cities there will be a great deal of progress in finance.

In addition

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

paying taxes

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would help the government too.

Secondly

Linking Words

, another positive point could be the rise in the number of jobs and businesses which are created for it.

For instance

Linking Words

, transporting the goods to the required destination needs a transport company.

This

Linking Words

company is going to have many workers.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, we will face a variety of free jobs which people can apply

Change preposition

apply

show examples

for.

Therefore

Linking Words

“if you start up a small business and have customers to give services, you at least have made jobs for 20 people,” said

university

Capitalize word

University

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Tehran

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Tehran's

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economy

Use synonyms

professor Ali Ahmadi.

In contrast

Linking Words

, there are some disadvantages. The significant demerit is that

Remove the comma

apply

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the

products

Use synonyms

will be no longer used because of the damages along the long distance of travel.

Researches

Fix the agreement mistake

Research

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have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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shown,

yearly

Correct word choice

that yearly

show examples

about 25

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

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of goods which are made are no longer in use

due to

Linking Words

harms

Fix the agreement mistake

harm

show examples

. To be exact; 10% by the weather, 9% in car accidents,

Correct word choice

and 6

show examples

% by

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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theft. In conclusion, as can be seen from the points made in the essay there are both downfalls and good points.

However

Linking Words

, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In addition

Linking Words

, despite of long

distance

Add a comma

distance,

show examples

it is nice to have our daily

products

Use synonyms

be made

Change preposition

show examples

other

counties

Correct your spelling

countries

show examples

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Jul 28 2024

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task achievement

Refine the introduction by appropriately setting the context before presenting the thesis statement. For instance, briefly mention the global economy's impact on production and transportation.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition and ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. Linking words and phrases can help achieve this.

task achievement

Address the grammatical inaccuracies and improve the overall syntax to ensure clarity and readability.

supported main points

Clarify the examples and explain them more effectively to better support your arguments. Each example should directly relate to the point being discussed.

task achievement

The essay effectively identifies and discusses the advantages and disadvantages of transporting goods over long distances.

clear comprehensive ideas

You have provided clear main points and substantial arguments to support the advantages outweighing the disadvantages.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively sums up the essay and reinforces your viewpoint, which is crucial for a balanced essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

347 words

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Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other counties have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a chilcd's development as other subjects, so it should be a compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

One of the challenges faced by international students is studying in Australia. Write a paragraph about some of the difficulties facing international students when they study in an Australian environment, based on your own experience and the experiences of other students in the class.

You have recently moved to a different house. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter -Explain why you have moved -Describe the new apartment -Invite him or her to pay a visit

Some students take a year off and going to university in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Full-time university students spend much of their time on study. Some people think it is essential for them to take other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?