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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart shows the change in forested land in different regions of the world over time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the change in forested land in different regions of the world over time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates the variation in forested
are
Correct your spelling
areas
show examples
 in ten different
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 between 1995 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of
changing
Replace the word
change
show examples
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 over time, East
Asia
Use synonyms
 had
Correct article usage
a widen
show examples
widen
Change the verb form
widened
show examples
 transformation,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 was above the average
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 other regions.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Central
America
Use synonyms
 was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extremely low whole
period
Use synonyms
. Looking into more detail, the data
divided
Add a missing verb
is divided
show examples
 into three different
Use synonyms
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
from 1995 to 2000,
Correct article usage
the Carribean
show examples
Carribean
Correct your spelling
Caribbean
 and East
Asia
Use synonyms
 were the highest
transformation
Change the noun form
transformations
show examples
, it was above 0.5%.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 North
America
Use synonyms
 remained
0
Change preposition
at 0
show examples
%.
However
Linking Words
, Central
America
Use synonyms
 was the lowest, it was hit -1.5%. South
Asia
Use synonyms
 and North Africa between -0.5% to -1.
Second,
Linking Words
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2000 to 2005, more than 1% of changing in forested happened in East
Asia
Use synonyms
. It remained the biggest change,
by
Linking Words
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
show examples
 Europe was only slightly 0.1% and Central
America
Use synonyms
 slightly above -1%.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
last
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2005 to 2010, Central
America
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
showed
show examples
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 amount of
changing
Replace the word
change
show examples
 it was closely -1.5 and North
America
Use synonyms
 slightly above 0.1%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, asia, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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