IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #percentage #tourists #england #four #attractions #brighton #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given line graph depicts data about the proportion of visitors to four different
tourtist
Correct your spelling
tourist
 attractions in Brighton, a city
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 England over a 30-year period. At first glance, it is visible that almost
places
Correct determiner usage
all places
show examples
 experienced an upward trend with the exception of
art
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
 and
Pier
Fix the agreement mistake
Piers
show examples
. Notably,
Art
gallery
 had the most significant change among all categories, Looking at
Festival
Correct article usage
the Festival
show examples
, in 1980, it had
outnumbered
Correct article usage
an outnumbered
show examples
 figure with
aroung
Correct your spelling
around
 30
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of visitors to
this
 place, but it almost had no clear difference between 2010 and 1980, their numbers are 30% and 28% respectively.
Furthermore
, regarding the second-highest figure, the Pavilion, it had approximately under 25% in 1980 but went up incredibly to the peak of roughly 48% in 1995 prior to decreasing by 15% in 2010.
On the other hand
, the visitor numbers in
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
went up and down to reach 20% by 1990 before undergoing a drop of around 12% in 2010
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
being the lowest figure.
Finally
, nearly 10%
visitors
Change preposition
of visitors
show examples
 entered
pier
Correct article usage
the pier
show examples
 in 1980 and it
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 a modest fluctuation, surpassing
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
 at 15% in 2005 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 over 20% by 2010.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words art, gallery with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: