IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

When choosing the best candidate for a job, employers should consider personal qualities more than qualification and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#candidate #job #employers #qualities #qualification
while
 beak up the best person for
work
 must consider personal
qualities
 more than
qualifcation
Correct your spelling
qualification
qualifications
 and experience. I
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 agree that
this personal
Change the determiner
this personal quality
these personal qualities
show examples
qualities
 it is very important for a
job
. There are many different
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of a
job
for example
acounting
Correct your spelling
accounting
,doctor,IT and nursing.
Firstily
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, The important when apply for
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
job
espically
Correct your spelling
especially
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 nursing you should know why applying for it during
interview
Add an article
the interview
an interview
show examples
 you will know
is
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
this
 nurse she/he have personal
qualities
 that very important than qualification and
experance
Correct your spelling
experience
 because all we
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
 in
this
work
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of responspility ,pressure and conflict between doctor,family,patient and head nurse
also
 nurse consider the
work
 with patient long houre to delivery excellant
work
 services that one not easy
job
 that way important.
However
, The second example IT when
apply
Change the verb form
applying
show examples
 for IT you should have personal
qualities
 because you will face
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in the system
such
 as
system
Correct article usage
a system
show examples
down
Add a missing verb
being down
show examples
 and pressure from the
manger
Correct your spelling
manager
show examples
 and people who will use the system that way
oersonal
Correct your spelling
personal
qualities
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 important
tha experance
Correct your spelling
that experience
 and
qulification
Correct your spelling
qualification
.
On the other hand
, people
apllying
Correct your spelling
applying
 for finance
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
Add a missing verb
have
show examples
important
peronal
Correct your spelling
personal
quqlities
Correct your spelling
qualities
 because
also
 big pressure to collect and
counting
Wrong verb form
count
show examples
 many
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
big
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 that way need personal
qualities
. In conclusion, I do believe that personal
qualities
 should consider
while
chossing
Correct your spelling
choosing
 the people in
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
job
.
Submitted by alkhaldijojo80 on

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General
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Frequent errors make it hard to understand your points clearly. Consider using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
Grammar and Structure
Enhance the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Use transitions to connect your ideas and make your argument flow more smoothly.
Specific
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. The examples given are relevant but lack depth and specificity. Adding more detailed examples would make your arguments stronger.
Introduction/Conclusion
Refine the introduction and conclusion. The essay has both, but they should be clearer and more engaging. Make sure the introduction sets up your argument effectively and the conclusion summarizes it and leaves a lasting impression.
Content
The essay addresses the task prompt and tries to provide reasons and examples to support the argument.
Examples
You attempt to draw examples from various professions, which shows an effort to relate the topic to real-world situations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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