IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction
Big
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
 make employers happier than good jobs. I strongly agree with
this
 idea. I believe that, when people get a
big
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
show examples
money
 end of the day, they will be happy. For centuries, mankind
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 feed their family. If you don't have much
money
, you won't
be enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoy
show examples
 your job. if you get paid
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 salary you can save your
money
 for the future, and you have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 potential
retire
Fix the infinitive
to retire
show examples
 early. With more
money
, you can invest in personal development, travel, and other experiences
you
Correct word choice
so you
show examples
 can enjoy your
beaitiful
Correct your spelling
beautiful
 life. If you work all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 of your life, you will
exhausted
Change the verb form
exhaust
show examples
 your job.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
The essay lacks a strong and clear thesis statement. Make sure to state your position clearly in the introduction and outline the main points that you will discuss.
task achievement
The arguments presented are somewhat generic and lack sufficient development and support. Use specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure needs improvement. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is logically connected to the next. This will help create a more coherent flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
There's a lack of clear topic sentences in the body paragraphs. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly states the main point.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint, which makes it easy to understand the author's position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The use of some transitional phrases helps to create a basic flow between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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