The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentages #men #women #employment #four #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The graph above shows the percentage of the two genders aged between 60 to 64 in

employment

Use synonyms

in four countries in 1970 and 2000 .

Overall

Linking Words

/ the

men

Change noun form

men's

show examples

chart

display

Correct subject-verb agreement

displays

show examples

that the

employment

Use synonyms

numbers

got

Verb problem

went

show examples

down

however

Linking Words

the

Use synonyms

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

employment

Use synonyms

did not

changed

Change the verb form

change

show examples

a lot . The Belgium men got a huge drop from 79

employment

Use synonyms

to approximately 20

person

Change to a plural noun

people

show examples

but USA and Japan had a slide by around the fifth

also

Linking Words

the Australian men got down by 30

employment

Use synonyms

. On the other side the

Use synonyms

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

chart shows that

Belgium

Correct your spelling

Belgian

show examples

women

Use synonyms

got

Verb problem

went

show examples

down by only one woman

also

Linking Words

Japanese

women

Use synonyms

almost

got

Verb problem

went

show examples

down by 2

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in addition

Linking Words

both

Australian

Correct your spelling

Australia

show examples

and

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

increased by a little over ten

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

Submitted by khalidashgar23 on Wed Jul 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

121 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

employment rate
percentage
trend
significant change
overall employment
societal changes
economic conditions
government policies
compare
highlight
individual country analysis
increased/decreased
similarities and differences

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The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. ​ Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.​

It was predicted that, with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Buying things on the internet, such asbooks, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. Whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children, both your point of views and your opinion.

Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled.   Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.