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Band 3.5

The graphs below ptovide information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2000 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2000 and 2010.

#graphs #ptovide #information #computer #ownership #percentage #population #level #education #years
The bar graphs below provide details about the percentage of laptop owners
as well as
 their level of education between 2000 and 2010. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
,
population
Add an article
the population
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 of PC purchasing showed an upward trend throughout the period
while
 property by education level saw a similar rise. Despite
this
, the lowest number of
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 who possessed technic
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 those with no high school diploma,
whereas
 the opposite was true with postgraduate degrees.
Initially
, 50% of personal computer users in 2000,
whereas
 more than 75% owned one in 2010. The second most popular year for PC was 2008 with more than 76% owning a data processor.
However
, the percentage of holders in 2002 and 2004 was almost the same (60% and 65%, respectively). A noticeable trend showed that the higher the education level the higher the percentage of
desktop’s
Change noun form
desktop
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 proprietors. Individuals with no high school diploma had the lowest
technology
Correct quantifier usage
number of technology
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 users which was approximately 25%,
while
 people with postgraduate degrees had the highest number of equipment which was well over 75%.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Make sure to accurately describe the information presented in the graphs. Using the correct terminology such as 'computer' instead of 'laptop', and 'ownership' instead of 'property' or 'holders' will enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Including linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more smoothly, such as 'additionally', 'in contrast', and 'as a result', can improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Ensure all details are covered comprehensively. For example, mentioning specific percentages consistently and accurately enhances completeness.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay with a summarizing statement that encapsulates the overall trends observed.
coherence cohesion
Overall structure of the essay is clear, with a good introduction and body paragraphs.
task achievement
Important trends and comparisons between years and education levels are correctly identified and discussed.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow of information from general trends to specific details.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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