IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countires there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. what measures could be taken to prevent this.

#countires #quality #air #water #industry #construction #measures
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In many countries, Industry and construction
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 become a primary reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 declining
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
. Many believe that treating the released
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
 waste can make a significant change in these countries.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the countermeasures these countries can take to overcome
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 declining
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
 qualities with reasoned examples.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 declines
due to
Linking Words
 the untreated fumes and chemicals in
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. Changing environmental policy
to force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
 these companies to follow and regulate their chemical waste release.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India, after 2014s laws change shows a
stagering
Correct your spelling
staggering
 37% change in
air
Use synonyms
 &
water
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, making it an effective countermeasure.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many
industry
Change to a plural noun
industries
show examples
 lacks
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge of their industrial detrimental effects on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
, which could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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easily subside by spreading awareness.
This
Linking Words
 path leads to
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 releasing the effect and
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 them
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to find alternative options.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are plenty of counteractive inventions available in the market that can remove the
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
 present using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
biodegradable options. In conclusion, the declining
quality
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
air
Use synonyms
 &
water
Use synonyms
 can
be reduce
Change the verb form
be reduced
show examples
 with a significant percentage just by applying new policies, initiating awareness campaigns and using
biodegredable
Correct your spelling
biodegradable
 alternatives to treat the pollutants.
Submitted by nick on

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grammatical
Pay attention to grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing to make your essay clearer and more professional. For example, 'which could be easily subside by spreading awareness' should be 'which could easily be mitigated by spreading awareness.'
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions from one idea to the next, improving the overall flow of your essay. For instance, using more linking words and phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'However' will help in achieving this.
detail
Be specific in your examples and explanations. For instance, provide more details about the 2014 law change in India and how it was implemented.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
content
The task response is solid, addressing key issues and suggesting solutions that are realistic and effective.
evidence
The main points are supported with examples, although more details would strengthen the argument further.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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