Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Working at
home
has gradually become a trend
since the outbreak of COVID-19, and with the development of it, we are clearly aware that this
trend
is a double-edged sword for employers
. On the one hand
, it allows employees
to allocate working time freely and thereby earns employers
a good reputation; on the other
hand
, however
, it seems to hinder the cultivation of team cohesion.
A flexible allocation of working time is certainly popular among employees
, and managers
do not see any reason to object to it as long as schedules progress well. From this
perspective, working at home
is a reciprocal choice. And maybe this
is the reason why more and more companies are adopting this
arrangement. For example
, the well-known semiconductor tycoons Intel and AMD have proclaimed that they have long approved working at home
, and they have promised to supply all necessary equipment.
Nevertheless
, this
trend
has also
brought about some concerns to employers
. One of them is long-term separation would undermine team cohesion and therefore
decrease collaboration efficiency. Relevant concerns have pervaded among the managers
of large corporations. Consequently
, the employers
of Disney, Google, and Amazon have strongly suggested their staff work in the company at least twice a week. Seen from this
angle, we can understand why some managers
consider this
trend
as a potential threat to their companies.
To summarize, allowing employees
to work at home
has both advantages and disadvantages for employers
. On the one hand
, it is helpful for managers
to establish a democratic and considerate impression among employees
. On the other
hand
, it to some extent jeopardises the unity of the company. Therefore
, employers
need to deliberate to achieve a balance between them.Submitted by hx88375757 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt and addresses both sides of the argument effectively. However, you could enhance your points by adding more specific examples or data to reinforce your claims.
task achievement
Ensure your thesis statement in the introduction clearly states the extent to which you agree or disagree. This will make your argument more concise and focused.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure and each paragraph flows well. Nevertheless, some sentences can be more varied in structure to improve readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Where possible, add transitional phrases to aid the flow between different points and paragraphs.
task achievement
You have provided a well-rounded discussion of both the benefits and drawbacks of working from home for employers and employees.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
The use of well-known company examples like Intel, AMD, Disney, Google, and Amazon helps make your argument more tangible and relatable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.