IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The data below shows how owns Greek Sovereigen debt. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant

#data #greek #sovereigen #debt #summarise #information #feature #comparisons
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The two graphs provide information about the owners of the Greek debt.
Overall
Linking Words
, Eurozone holders have the majority of Greek debt and Germany, France and Italy are the biggest member states that
are holding
Wrong verb form
hold
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 the largest proportions. Eurozone has the largest exposure of Greece bonds with 193
billion
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 . Other
bond holders
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bondholders
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 have a significant amount of Greece bonds with 48
billion
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. IMF
exposed
Add a missing verb
is exposed
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 to 32
billion
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 of the debt
while
Linking Words
 the ECB, other lenders and Greek banks hold the lowest amounts with 20
billion
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, 17
billion
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 and 10
billion
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 respectively. Germany has the highest proportions in the market with 56
billion
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EUR
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 and France comes the second highest state with a considerable percentage at 42
billion
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EUR
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. Italy and Spain just owed 37.2 and 27,7
billion
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EUR
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 respectively. Portugal has the lowest position with just 1,0
billion
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EUR
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 and Poland comes the second lowest state with only 1,1
billion
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EUR
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.
Submitted by sam  on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a general overview of the data but could benefit from a more comprehensive introduction and conclusion. Including a few more sentences to introduce and wrap up the essay would improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically from one idea to the next. Adding transitional phrases would help connect the different sections more seamlessly.
task response
The essay addresses the main features of the data but does so in a somewhat mechanical way. Try to elaborate further on the comparisons and highlight interesting insights that might emerge from the data.
task response
While the essay covers the main points, it would benefit from being more detailed. Adding a few more sentences to explain the significance of the figures and the relationships between them would make the response more comprehensive.
task response
The essay provides an accurate summary of the data and includes specific figures to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic, and the overall structure is easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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