The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (1)

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (1)
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Australian males and females in various
age
Use synonyms
groups allocating regular physical
activities
Use synonyms
in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is understandable that physical
activities
Use synonyms
had a better place among
women
Use synonyms
rather than
men
Use synonyms
, except for the 15 to 24
age
Use synonyms
groups.
Also
Linking Words
,
Women
Use synonyms
from 45 to 54 years old had higher and escalated
activities
Use synonyms
compared to
men
Use synonyms
by a difference of nearly 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Initially
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
had higher performance in physical
activities
Use synonyms
by the
age
Use synonyms
of 15 to 24, the gap between
men
Use synonyms
and
women
Use synonyms
was approximately 5 per cent, but
this
Linking Words
percentage rate fluctuated during their lives.
Men
Use synonyms
’s
activities
Use synonyms
dropped nearly 10 per cent from 52.8 to 42.2 for the life group of 15-24 to 25-34.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
's
activities
Use synonyms
started to grow up respectively for 40 years from the
age
Use synonyms
of 24 to 64, by 48.9%, 52.5%, 53.3% and 53% respectively for the period
age
Use synonyms
of (25-34), (35-44), (45-54) and (55-64). Despite all the fluctuation in 2010 for both males and females from 15
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
64, the percentages became almost even at 65 years old and beyond that by 46.7 belonging to
men
Use synonyms
and 47.1 belonging to
women
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
men
Use synonyms
doing physical activity went up slightly as they got older.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
doing physical activity dropped as they got older.
Submitted by nasiri.behnam1994 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, activities, women, men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar chart
  • Percentage
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participation
  • Age group
  • Trend
  • Significant
  • Notable
  • Gender gap
  • Comparative analysis
  • Consistent
  • Decline
  • Progressive
  • Conversely
  • Motivations
  • Barriers
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