The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (1)

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (1)
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Australian males and females in various
age
groups allocating regular physical
activities
in 2010.
Overall
, it is understandable that physical
activities
had a better place among
women
rather than
men
, except for the 15 to 24
age
groups.
Also
,
Women
from 45 to 54 years old had higher and escalated
activities
compared to
men
by a difference of nearly 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Initially
,
men
had higher performance in physical
activities
by the
age
of 15 to 24, the gap between
men
and
women
was approximately 5 per cent, but
this
percentage rate fluctuated during their lives.
Men
’s
activities
dropped nearly 10 per cent from 52.8 to 42.2 for the life group of 15-24 to 25-34.
In contrast
,
women
's
activities
started to grow up respectively for 40 years from the
age
of 24 to 64, by 48.9%, 52.5%, 53.3% and 53% respectively for the period
age
of (25-34), (35-44), (45-54) and (55-64). Despite all the fluctuation in 2010 for both males and females from 15
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
64, the percentages became almost even at 65 years old and beyond that by 46.7 belonging to
men
and 47.1 belonging to
women
. In conclusion,
men
doing physical activity went up slightly as they got older.
In contrast
,
women
doing physical activity dropped as they got older.
Submitted by nasiri.behnam1994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, activities, women, men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar chart
  • Percentage
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participation
  • Age group
  • Trend
  • Significant
  • Notable
  • Gender gap
  • Comparative analysis
  • Consistent
  • Decline
  • Progressive
  • Conversely
  • Motivations
  • Barriers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: