IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

Writing task 1 You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organisation.

#three #months #work #organisation
Dear Sir,
Firstly
, I would like to say how
I
Correct quantifier usage
much I
show examples
appreciate
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the opportunity to do
this
work
. I hope to learn
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new strategies,
techniques
Correct word choice
and techniques
show examples
 which I can use with my
work
exeperience
Correct your spelling
experience
. I would like to provide you
my
Add the preposition
with my
show examples
work
 experience which can be positive for the organisation.
Firstly
, I have a lot of
exeperience
Correct your spelling
experience
 from my
last
 job, where I
did
Verb problem
was
show examples
 a hotel manager and I took care
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 10 employees. I think that I have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very strong
oraganisation
Correct your spelling
organisational
 skills, I love
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 team.
Secondly
, I am a
friendly going
Add a hyphen
friendly-going
show examples
 person.
Thirdly
, I am
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young and don´t have children and I can
work
 more
flexible
Change the word
flexibly
show examples
. I am so
exitending
Correct your spelling
extending
 to
work
 with you. Kind regards Andrea Kroupova
Submitted by andrea.kroupova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To strengthen your Task Achievement score, it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples and elaborate on your experiences and skills in relation to the organization you'll be working for. This will demonstrate a clear, comprehensive understanding of the organization's needs and how you can meet them.
coherence cohesion
To improve your Coherence and Cohesion score, focus on the logical structure of your letter. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and the ideas within each paragraph are well-connected and easy to follow. Instead of listing points, try to weave them into a more cohesive narrative.
overall
For both criteria, aim to enhance the overall professionalism and tone of your letter. This can be achieved by refining your language to be more formal and polished, avoiding more casual phrases, and ensuring there are no grammatical errors.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a good attempt to express your enthusiasm and intention for the work experience opportunity. This is clearly conveyed in your writing, which is positive and engaging.
coherence cohesion
The letter presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid frame for your message.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: