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Band 5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction, do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
One of the most burning issues of today’s world is whether wages are more necessary than employment happiness.
This
 essay disagrees with the given phenomenon.
Job
 satisfaction is
key
Add an article
a key
the key
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 factor
of
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in
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 every
work
. And it contributes to the amount of
work
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
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 done. The first and perhaps the most significant reason to support my opinion is that, if
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
 is liked, and brings enjoyment to people, it is not felt. When individuals enjoy what they do, they can do it even 24/7 and they will not feel tired or stressed because
work
 brings them only positive emotions and satisfaction. By way of illustration, I
don
Correct your spelling
do
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 not even feel two or three hours when I am doing my
english
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English
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, because
this
 is my
favorite
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favourite
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 thing and I get only pleasure. But, when I am spending my time
in
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on
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such
 boring things as chemistry or biology, every minute feels like an hour. Another key point to justify
this
 attitude is that
,
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apply
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 paid salary depends on the
work
is
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apply
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done, especially for self-employed people. It is better to
work
 for yourself and do your
favorite
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favourite
show examples
staff
Correct your spelling
stuff
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 rather than working for a company and sitting 8 hours in front of a screen doing things you cannot tolerate.
For example
, I prefer sitting and doing graphic design projects on my own and I get paid for that very well
,
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apply
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 because I can do even 10 projects per day
,
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apply
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 because I enjoy it.
To sum up
, in my personal opinion,
job
 satisfaction is much more important than
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 salary at least because I will enjoy it, and
as
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at
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 a maximum I will get paid very well for the
job
 I’ve done
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the topic and provides a clear stance. Ensure to elaborate on all ideas for a more comprehensive response.
task response
While your ideas are generally clear, adding more detailed examples and explanations can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, but some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Use linking words and phrases to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly presents an introduction and conclusion, framing the argument effectively.
task response
Your main points are supported with relevant examples, which helps to illustrate your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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