IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week aga but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company In your letter ■introduce yourself ■explain the situation ■say what action you would like the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #week #aga #■introduce #■explain #situation #■say #action
Dear Sir or Madam I am one of your customers and I bought a kind of technologies that have good quality.
However
,
this
 time I am writing
complaint
Add an article
a complaint
show examples
 about
camera
Correct article usage
a camera
show examples
 which I bought
15days
Correct your spelling
15 days
 ago from your company in Green Street. My job as
photographer
Add an article
a photographer
show examples
including
Replace the word
includes
show examples
travel
Correct your spelling
travelling
show examples
Change preposition
to
show examples
a kind of country and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 photos
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
. It was unsatisfactory to
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 and had a different problem. After using
camera
Add an article
the camera
a camera
show examples
, I
didn't
Verb problem
wasn't
show examples
satisfy
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 my work and lost my partners who had
a very good qualifications
Correct the article-noun agreement
very good qualifications
a very good qualification
show examples
. The camera that I bought is
V380
Correct article usage
a V380
show examples
 Pro 4Mp Ultra HD model. When I bought it, saler introduced
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
 and he assured
it
Correct pronoun usage
me it
show examples
 was working well
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 me. After I got home and took
photo
Correct article usage
a photo
show examples
my
Change preposition
of my
show examples
 garden, it
hasn't
Verb problem
wasn't
show examples
 working well. In the following days, I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
found that there were
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 effects and memory problems. Despite the fact, I have returned it and spoke problems to your company a week ago, it has still not been repaired. I would be grateful if you could refund and reply
my
Change preposition
to my
show examples
 letter. I look forward to your explanation.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Shodiyona
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The structure of your letter can be improved. Consider organizing your points more clearly, perhaps by adding a brief introduction, separate paragraphs for each main point, and a concise conclusion.
task achievement
While your letter covers all the necessary points, it could be clearer and more concise. Try to avoid repetitive phrases and unnecessary details.
task achievement
There are some grammar and vocabulary issues, such as 'a kind of technologies', 'take photos them', and 'saler'. A quick review and some corrections would make the letter more professional.
task achievement
You have provided all the necessary information, including your problem, past actions, and your desired solution.
suitable writing tone
The letter maintains a polite and respectful tone throughout, which is appropriate for this type of communication.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: