Some people think that schools should prioritize teaching students’ practical skills for the workplace, while others believe that schools should focus on academic subjects such as science and math. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #schools #prioritize #students’ #skills #workplace #focus #subjects #science #math

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people opine that schools should focus more on subjects like maths and science

whereas

, others believe priority should be given to

skill enhancing

Add a hyphen

skill-enhancing

show examples

subjects which can add more value

Change preposition

show examples

the personality of

student

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

. I,

also

consider

skill improving

Add a hyphen

skill-improving

show examples

subjects should have

major

Add an article

a major

show examples

focus in the school times of

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

and in the upcoming paragraphs

Change the capitalization

show examples

shall be discussing my both opinions.

To begin

with, inculcating moral values,

ethics

Correct word choice

and ethics

show examples

can develop

overall

Correct article usage

the overall

show examples

personality of a child which will be beneficial for them in every arena of life. Classes like

perosnality

Correct your spelling

personality

development, music, history and dance can help them to understand their talent and build their future in their own interest.

Moreover

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

brain is considered

Correct your spelling

show examples

rubber in

early

Correct article usage

the early

show examples

stages of their life, which means a child can be

molded

Change the spelling

moulded

show examples

easily and he/she can remember the teachings lifelong.

Submitted by simranjit2598 on Tue Aug 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your response addresses the task but could use more depth and specific examples to fully cover both views. Make sure to present a clear position and back it up with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical progression and structure. Ensure there is a clear introduction that states both views and your opinion. Conclude with a summary of your main points.

task achievement

Be sure to support your main points with relevant and specific examples. This will help to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

task achievement

Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic and attempts to cover both views, which is commendable.

task achievement

You have a clear viewpoint, which adds to the strength of your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

139 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

practical skills
academic subjects
workplace readiness
employability
real-world application
fundamental knowledge
critical thinking
problem-solving
analytical skills
versatile
adaptable
specialized tracks
career aspirations
curriculum
balanced education

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Your local newspaper is offering an award for people who have helped the community. Write a letter to the newspaper editor. In your letter •suggest someone you think should receive the award •describe what the person does to help the community •suggest an award that would be appropriate for this person
I have seen the offer your newspaper are foresting so I want to postulate the karate class' teacher whose name is Oliver. First of all, he is a good example for all the stundents that attent his classes and the surrounders who might see the way he behaive, furthermore he is always willing to help parents to understand their children abilities and weakenesses to be adressed. Besides that he looks after the infrastructure where the lessons have been taken reporting any issues in regars to the administration office when necessary, hence all the comunity can enjoy a good place to practice their preferd sport.
7
band
In many countries, the gap between the rich and poor is widening. What problems can this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?
In various nations, the gap between higher and lower classes is rising and this cause brings different problems like inequality in using different facilities and increasing crime rates introducing more taxes and job creation can solve these problems.
5.5
band
There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.
An increasing number of married couples around the world choosing to remain childless. The main benefits of not having a child for couples are that they can focus on their careers and have more time for themselves. The main drawbacks are that they could not fit into their peers’ group and have no one to look after them when they get old.
6.5
band
“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”
There is no doubt that we live in a world where social networks are being developed more than ever. Modern forms of communication such as email and texting are increasingly popular, reducing the amount of time people spend meeting friends. This has had a negative impact on their social life. I, myself, partly agree with this idea, which will be discussed below.
5.5
band
Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events.Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Whether a majority of individuals on the globe utilize social platforms to contact and update with news occasions is still a recurring argument. This writer argues that the advantages of shortened telecommunication intervals and knowledge acquisition outweigh the disadvantages of social media addiction.

Some people think that schools should prioritize teaching students’ practical skills for the workplace, while others believe that schools should focus on academic subjects such as science and math. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries, the gap between the rich and poor is widening. What problems can this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events.Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?