Some people think that schools should prioritize teaching students’ practical skills for the workplace, while others believe that schools should focus on academic subjects such as science and math. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people opine that schools should focus more on subjects like maths and science
whereas
, others believe priority should be given to
skill enhancing
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skill-enhancing
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subjects which can add more value
in
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to
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the personality of
student
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the student
a student
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. I,
also
consider
skill improving
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skill-improving
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subjects should have
major
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a major
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focus in the school times of
student
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students
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and in the upcoming paragraphs
i
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I
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shall be discussing my both opinions.
To begin
with, inculcating moral values,
ethics
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and ethics
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can develop
overall
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the overall
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personality of a child which will be beneficial for them in every arena of life. Classes like
perosnality
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personality
development, music, history and dance can help them to understand their talent and build their future in their own interest.
Moreover
,
child's
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a child's
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brain is considered
as
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a
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rubber in
early
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the early
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stages of their life, which means a child can be
molded
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moulded
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easily and he/she can remember the teachings lifelong.
Submitted by simranjit2598 on

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task achievement
Your response addresses the task but could use more depth and specific examples to fully cover both views. Make sure to present a clear position and back it up with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical progression and structure. Ensure there is a clear introduction that states both views and your opinion. Conclude with a summary of your main points.
task achievement
Be sure to support your main points with relevant and specific examples. This will help to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic and attempts to cover both views, which is commendable.
task achievement
You have a clear viewpoint, which adds to the strength of your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • practical skills
  • academic subjects
  • workplace readiness
  • employability
  • real-world application
  • fundamental knowledge
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • analytical skills
  • versatile
  • adaptable
  • specialized tracks
  • career aspirations
  • curriculum
  • balanced education
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