Some people think that schools should prioritize teaching students’ practical skills for the workplace, while others believe that schools should focus on academic subjects such as science and math. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some people opine that schools should focus more on subjects like maths and science
whereas
, others believe priority should be given to skill enhancing
subjects which can add more value Add a hyphen
skill-enhancing
in
the personality of Change preposition
to
student
. I, Add an article
the student
a student
also
consider skill improving
subjects should have Add a hyphen
skill-improving
major
focus in the school times of Add an article
a major
student
and in the upcoming paragraphs Fix the agreement mistake
students
i
shall be discussing my both opinions.
Change the capitalization
I
To begin
with, inculcating moral values, ethics
can develop Correct word choice
and ethics
overall
personality of a child which will be beneficial for them in every arena of life. Classes like Correct article usage
the overall
perosnality
development, music, history and dance can help them to understand their talent and build their future in their own interest. Correct your spelling
personality
Moreover
, child's
brain is considered Correct article usage
a child's
as
rubber in Correct your spelling
a
early
stages of their life, which means a child can be Correct article usage
the early
molded
easily and he/she can remember the teachings lifelong.Change the spelling
moulded
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task achievement
Your response addresses the task but could use more depth and specific examples to fully cover both views. Make sure to present a clear position and back it up with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical progression and structure. Ensure there is a clear introduction that states both views and your opinion. Conclude with a summary of your main points.
task achievement
Be sure to support your main points with relevant and specific examples. This will help to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic and attempts to cover both views, which is commendable.
task achievement
You have a clear viewpoint, which adds to the strength of your essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite