IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentage of workers in three sectors across four countries in 1980 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of workers in three sectors across four countries in 1980 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart provides key information about the percentage of workers in the
Agriculture
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
, and services sectors around four countries in 1980 and 2010. The graph clearly shows that the
agriculture
Use synonyms
 sector in 1980 reached the highest level in China, but
Germany
Use synonyms
 scored the lowest level in
agriculture
Use synonyms
. In 1980, the
industry
Use synonyms
 sector in the USA and Japan had the same rate around 45%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the levels of the
industry
Use synonyms
 sector in
Germany
Use synonyms
, and USA, and Japan rose
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1980.
However
Linking Words
, in
China
Add a comma
China,
show examples
 the
industry
Use synonyms
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
 the same at 40%.
According to
Linking Words
 the data shown, the services in Japan
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 around 10 % from 1980 to 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
Correct article usage
the Usa
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Usa
Correct your spelling
USA
 and
Germany
Use synonyms
 the service rate in 2010
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
than in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1980 . In
Germany
Use synonyms
, the
agriculture
Use synonyms
 sectors had the lowest level across the three
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 in 2010. In 2010, the
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
 rate in China
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 the half of percentage from 1980.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, industry, germany with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • sector
  • distribution
  • dominance
  • decline
  • significant changes
  • employment
  • patterns
  • trends
  • global
  • compare
  • highlight
  • examine
  • identify
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