Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
day and age, most people think that the higher
Use synonyms
positions
Correct article usage
the positions
show examples
in the company, the higher
Use synonyms
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
show examples
will be compared to normal
employees
Use synonyms
.
For me
Change preposition
Me
show examples
personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
partly agree that the
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
positions
Use synonyms
will have
good
Correct word choice
better
show examples
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
than other workers. On the one hand, The highest
salary
Use synonyms
always depends on the person's position in business.
For example
Linking Words
, managers and directors often have higher salaries than
employees
Use synonyms
because their jobs are more important and require more experience to perform. opposite other workers often hold
positions
Use synonyms
that are not too
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
important and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
require much experience in
manage
Replace the word
management
show examples
.
thus
Linking Words
, senior management
positions
Use synonyms
often
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have higher
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
than the
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in the
company
Add a comma
company,
show examples
there
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
who receive higher salaries than their colleagues. There is a simple reason to explain that because those
employees
Use synonyms
are more productive than other colleagues, or maybe they have more achievements and talents.
For instance
Linking Words
,
workers
Change preposition
for workers
show examples
in
marketing
Correct article usage
the marketing
show examples
and agency field, their
salary
Use synonyms
will be dependent
productivity
Change preposition
on productivity
show examples
and the number of their
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
, if they have
much client
Change the quantifier
many clients
show examples
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
service in that month they will
paided
Correct your spelling
pay
better
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
and
opporsite
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
Finally
Linking Words
, some companies will have special
positions
Use synonyms
that do not reflect the importance of the position through
salary
Use synonyms
. in conclusion, the
salary
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
can
salary
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
can
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
the position of that employee, at the same time normal
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
also
Linking Words
have higher salaries dependent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their productivity and ability to satisfy customers in their industry
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Strengthen the logical structure by organizing your ideas more clearly. Divide your essay into clear paragraphs with one main idea each.
introduction conclusion present
Provide a more detailed introduction to set up the context of your essay and introduce your main points more clearly.
supported main points
Develop your main points with more specific examples and elaboration.
complete response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and you have provided some specific examples to support your points.
relevant specific examples
You have made an effort to connect your arguments to real-world scenarios, like the example of workers in marketing.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Senior management
  • Salary disparity
  • Incentives
  • Income inequality
  • Organizational culture
  • Career progression
  • Employee morale
  • Compensation
  • Financial success
  • Decision-making
  • Responsibility
  • Merit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: