IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes(in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided intot three categories , from 1995-2002 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the total number of minutes(in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided intot three categories , from 1995-2002 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #intot #three #categories #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar graph depicts the information regarding the
proportion
 of phone calls by British people which was categorised into three parts
such
 as local,
Mobiles
Replace the word
mobile
show examples
,
nationl
Correct your spelling
national
 and international during the time period of 1995-2002. The data is calibrated
jn
Correct your spelling
in
Minutes
 ( billions).
Overall
, it is noticeable that the local
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 made by people
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 tending down despite having the largest
proportion
 during the whole time period.
In contrast
, Moblie usage was in small
proportion
 but
showing
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 upward trend
similarly
, the interest of people
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 making national and international was uphill. Looking into more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, more than 70
minutes
(
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
)person
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 using the telephone
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
locals
Fix the agreement mistake
local
show examples
 calls in 1995,which
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gradually
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
90
minutes
 and remained constant until
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 year. It was seen a steady fall until
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same
proportion
 which was in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1995.
In contrast
, the value for national and international was less than 40
minutes
 which showed a
contined
Correct your spelling
continued
 growth in the figures.
Additionally
 , the usage of mobile phones was negligible in 1995,it started
getting
Verb problem
gaining
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popularity after 2000 and increased by
four folds
Correct your spelling
fourfold
show examples
 in 2002.
Submitted by harjass308 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, minutes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: