The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
As a result
, there is a growing attitude among juveniles toward saving money
for their future
. I firmly agree with this
opinion because currency plays a vital role in an individual’s life
. I know, living in the moment is another attitude. In this
article, I will explain my vision via topic.
Saving money
for the future
is an essential feature that young people should learn. If they ignore this
measure, they may face many problems; for example
, one of my friends, who earned a good salary in a famous company, got into trouble since he did not have any savings most of the time he went on holiday. Moreover
, a university in Greece published an article showing a positive correlation between saving money
at a young age and having peace of mind when being older. A person is more likely to face health or economic problems in the future
. Not only do they have the energy to tackle them, but they also
need help to work to earn income. Being aware of this
issue and trying to save wages, although
insignificant, can help to have a better life
in the future
.
Some people argue that making your moment like you do not have any future
or maybe you do not see tomorrow who knows what the future
will bring .
Change the punctuation
?
In deed
, neither having now Correct your spelling
Indeed
nor
Correct your spelling
no
future
, I do not agree with this
claim. Although
it is valid, sometimes, all in all, how much does it work? Being foresight is a priority of the principles of life
. Having foresight, planning for the future
, and saving money
are all ways to take control of your life
and ensure a secure future
.
In conclusion, living in the present positively affects mental and physical health. However
, it is essential to strike a balance. While
enjoying the present, it is crucial to look to the future
through saving. This
balance allows one to live a fulfilling life
now while
also
ensuring a secure and comfortable future
.Submitted by sarataklimi89 on
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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly relates to the main argument of the essay. The second paragraph discusses the importance of saving money, but the connection to the introduction isn't fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Provide more structured examples and elaborate on them to support your points better. For instance, the friend's story and the study from Greece could be more detailed and better integrated.
task achievement
Avoid vague statements. Phrases like 'make your moment' are unclear and affect the clarity of your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that the language and phrases used are clear and accurate. Avoid sentences like 'how much does it work?' which can be confusing.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively sums up the essay and provides a balanced viewpoint.
task achievement
The use of a real-life example (the friend who got into trouble) adds a personal touch to the argument, enhancing relevance.