IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering a part-time job. Write a letter to the restaurant's manager. In your letter, • explain that you would like to apply for the job • give some details of any relevant experience that you have • specify the days and times that would suit you

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Dear Sir or Madam, I'm writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my interest in the part-time job. The first thing I would like to draw your attention to is a position that I want. I would like to apply for your chef position. I hope that I
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be able to manage
to
Change preposition
apply
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my tasks much better.
Furthermore
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, If I
takl
Correct your spelling
talk
take
 about my relevant details, I have worked at the restaurant for eight
month
Change to a plural noun
months
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. That's why I have enough experience
for
Change preposition
apply
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working as a chef. I'm sure that I'm
confident
Add an article
a confident
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 and outgoing person. I promise
for working
Change preposition
to work
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 by heart.
Secondly
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. Since I have an extra lesson on even days, I would like to ask you to move the work to an odd day. If I talk about
time
Add an article
the time
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 of the job, I would like to
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
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 start
12:00
Change preposition
at 12,00
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 pm
until
Correct word choice
and until
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 20:00 pm because other times I can't catch up to the job. I look forward hearing from you and I look forward to receiving your explanation. Your faithfully, Jasmina

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task response
You have adequately responded to the task by mentioning your interest in the job, your relevant experience, and your availability. However, providing more specifics about your work as a chef can strengthen your application.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is generally well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Enhance coherence by linking your sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences could be clearer. For instance, 'I hope that I would be able to manage my tasks much better' could be improved to 'I believe I am well-suited to manage the responsibilities effectively.'
suitable writing tone
The letter has a polite and professional tone, which is appropriate for the context.
complete response
You clearly indicated your interest in the job and your relevant experience, which shows you understand the task requirements.
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