IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering a part- time job. Write a letter to the restaurant's manager . In your letter, • explain that you would like to apply for the job • give some details of any relevant experience for the job • specify the days and times that would suit you

#restaurant #part- #time #job #manager #times
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to complain about my
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 in your
job
 advertisement for a manager assistant that I saw on the local street board. I am personally very interested in healthy foods and
this
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 always
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
 how
capability
Add an article
the capability
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
prepare
Change the verb form
preparing
show examples
 the cook. My
last
job
 was as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 waiter at Setu' Alsop restaurant in New York, where I was responsible for
to deliver
Change the verb form
delivering
show examples
 the food quickly
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the restaurant.  I was
also
 responsible at
Seto'
Change noun form
Seto's
show examples
 s for the cleaning. I noticed that
this
 profession suits me. Fortunately, I choose
this
job
. First of all, my
preference
Replace the word
preferred
show examples
 days for working would be Wednesday, Thursday and Friday evenings . I would be available until late at night on those days. I noticed from the
job
 description that someone who can cook
and
Change preposition
in and
show examples
  different and healthy way. Please let me know if you require any
further
 information Yours faithfully, Begoyim
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
In the opening, change 'complain about my interests' to 'express my interest'.
task achievement
Correct some grammatical issues to improve clarity, such as 'affected how capability for prepare the cook' to 'affected my capability to prepare food'.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph carries a single clear idea to improve readability.
greeting and closing
Polite and appropriate closing in the letter.
single idea per paragraph
Clear job preference details provided.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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