some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. other people think that in today's world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

History
is thought to be among the important school
subjects
.
Whereas
, others found
science
and
technology
more fundamental than
history
. I completely agree with the former idea. Maintaining people's identities through teaching-related
history
can make a
country
a union, which leads to several breakthroughs in the
country
. Obviously, without perceiving
history
and knowing about ancestors, it is somehow impossible to accomplish developments in a
country
. How can we move without knowing about our past having a massive impact on present and future generations
.
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?
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Regardless of
history
's effects,the majority of
students
consider it a useless and lonesome lesson. Take an example of a world power like the USA and the UK where learning
history
making residents proud and motivated to put their efforts into improving their own motherlands, has similar importance
like
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to
show examples
other
subjects
.
Therefore
, teaching
history
to
students
as s crucial subject can play a role in improving the
country
. Caring about
science
and the
subjects
like
this
may play an important role as
history
subjects
. Having dominance over
science
and
technology
can be essential,
Technology
and
science
have been being the spotlight. In that case, exposing
students
to have a good social level in future makes parents and teachers continuously encourage their offspring to learn
science
and
technology
. Because all of the adults surrounding
students
push them to just focus on
science
and related fields,
students
think of
science
as the only useful subject for the
country
.
However
, I do not find
this
argument convincing because , without
any
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apply
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hindsight,
students
get confused about how to develop a
country
only with foresight. In conclusion,some people think that
history
has less importance than other fields like
science
.
While
others assume that
history
is one of the essential
subjects
. I do agree with those who believe that
history
plays an important role because
students
should know about their identities and
also
they need
an
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a
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look at their past.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all sentences maintain parallel structure and clarity. Some sentences were a bit hard to follow due to grammatical errors or awkward phrasing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Including examples relevant to the modern context of science and technology would bolster your position.
task achievement
Develop your arguments more evenly. The essay leaned more towards the importance of history but gave less attention to the science and technology perspective.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both perspectives, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The writer provides a balanced discussion, addressing both points of view before giving a personal opinion.
task achievement
The writer showcases the ability to argue why history is essential for understanding a country's identity and development.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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