Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?
Many individuals hate changing in society and their own lives , and want to stay the same .In
this
essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of changing.
First of all, change
can lead to some positive results. for example
4 years ago I decided to change
my job and position ,and this
change
had many advantages because I became free and started study
in a new course and learned a new language etc. So changes can lead to new learning and opportunities.
Wrong verb form
studying
On the other hand
, unfortunately, some the
people hate changing and they would like to be fixed in one position .Correct article usage
apply
In other words
, they believe that change
is difficult has many problems and leads to stress. when they are in good mode, why do they need to change
? According to
a study, 45% of people dislike changes especially when they become older ,so they think that they don’t have any time for change
and every time ask why we
are forced to Correct pronoun usage
they
change
. Because change
is stressful and it is difficult for them.
In conclusion, changes could have positive and negative effects on human lives.Submitted by zohmoz93 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows logically to the next. You may use transitional words or phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, consider making your introduction more engaging and your conclusion more summarizing by restating the main points.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need more support. Provide relevant and specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Address both parts of the prompt: why people dislike changes and why change can be positive. Expand on why some individuals want to maintain the status quo and more about the advantages of change.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but consider elaborating on each point to make your argument more comprehensive.
task achievement
Include more varied and specific examples to illustrate your points. Examples make your essay more persuasive and engaging.
relevant specific examples
You provided a personal example to illustrate your point about the benefits of change, which helps to make your essay more relatable.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help structure your essay effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite