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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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The percentages of males and females aged 60-64 in
employment
Use synonyms
 in four different countries in certain periods between 1970 and 2000 were shown in that picture.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be pointed out from the charts that, Japan was the highest
while
Linking Words
 Belgium was the least in a specific period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the men aged 60-64 in
employment
Use synonyms
 higher than the women in a given period. It is obvious from the first picture that, Japan started at 85% and
then
Linking Words
 it dropped by 74% male aged 60-64 in
employment
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, Belgium jumped down from 79% to 19% and it took place
last
Linking Words
 place than other countries.
According to
Linking Words
 the second graph , the number of women aged 60-64 in
employment
Use synonyms
 increased in three various countries between 1980 and 2000,
in contrast
Linking Words
 , only Japan went down from 43 to 40. In the USA went up from 36% to 39% between 1970 and 2000.
Also
Linking Words
, Australia had risen by 18%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment rate
  • Percentage
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Fluctuation
  • Gender disparity
  • Trend
  • Decline
  • Improvement
  • Variation
  • Noteworthy
  • Aligned
  • Comparative analysis
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