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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given diagram shows details about the route to
school
Use synonyms
 by
students
Use synonyms
 in the 11-16 age group in the United Kingdom in a year. It can be seen that children who live over 5
miles
Use synonyms
 away from
school
Use synonyms
 choose to go to
school
Use synonyms
 by car or bus.
Moreover
Linking Words
, for those who live 0-1 mile away from
school
Use synonyms
, most of them choose walking to
school
Use synonyms
. In terms of walking to
school
Use synonyms
, the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 who live 0-1 mile away from
school
Use synonyms
 is 90%
while
Linking Words
 children who live 1-2
miles
Use synonyms
 away from
school
Use synonyms
 is 60% which is 35% higher than
students
Use synonyms
 who live 2-5
miles
Use synonyms
 away from
school
Use synonyms
. Regarding going to
school
Use synonyms
 by bicycle, the proportion of children who are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
0-1 mile away from their
school
Use synonyms
 is 50% which is 25%
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 than residents who live 1-2
miles
Use synonyms
 away from educational institutions. The rate of
students
Use synonyms
 cycling 2-5
miles
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
 makes up nearly 50% Learners who travel 0-1
miles
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
 by car occupy nearly 10% which is 2 times smaller than those who live 1-2
miles
Use synonyms
 away from
school
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, people who travel 2-5
miles
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
 are higher than 30% which is 10% bigger than people who need to travel over 5
miles
Use synonyms
. Regarding
students
Use synonyms
 who go to
school
Use synonyms
 by bus, people who live 0-1
miles
Use synonyms
 from
school
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 around 2%
while
Linking Words
 1-2
miles
Use synonyms
 away is 10%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of learners who live
in
Change preposition
within
show examples
 2-5
miles
Use synonyms
 of the
school
Use synonyms
 area amounts to 50% which is approximately 20% bigger than some travelling over 5
miles
Use synonyms
 to educational institutions.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, students, miles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Modes of transportation
  • Percentage
  • Comparative analysis
  • Seasonal variations
  • External factors
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Non-motorized modes
  • Safety
  • Convenience
  • Sustainable
  • Initiatives
  • Promoting
  • Improvements
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