The diagram showing how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in Australia town.

#rainwater #water #australia #town

The diagram

showing

Wrong verb form

shows

show examples

how

rainwater

is collected for the use of drinking

water

Australia

Correct your spelling

Australian

show examples

town

Fix the agreement mistake

towns

show examples

. The diagram illustrates how an Australian town's citizens process

rainwater

to use as drinking

water

Overall

rainwater

passes through a two-stage purification process,

that is

, physical and chemical, to make it fit for human consumption.

Initially

, the gutters on the roofs collect the rain and

then

it runs down the pipe at the side of the house into the drain at the bottom. Each house in the town collects

rainwater

this

way, and

then

it passes along underground. First of all, collected

water

passes through a filter to remove any impurities. After filtration, the

water

flows through pipes into the storage tank. From

this

point, it goes from storage to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

treatment, where it is treated with chemicals to make it fit for consumption by people. At

this

stage of the process, the

water

is already drinkable, so it transfers back into the houses of Australian towns, where people can use it for daily consumption.

Submitted by moon2014angel on Tue Aug 13 2024

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general

You have provided a clear and comprehensive description of the rainwater collection process. However, to enhance the essay, you might consider adding a brief concluding sentence to summarize the process or its significance.

coherence cohesion

In future essays, try to include more linking words or phrases to enhance coherence and make the text flow even more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure and clear progression of ideas, which makes it easy for the reader to follow.

task achievement

The introduction clearly rephrases the task question and sets the context for the reader.

task achievement

The essay uses appropriate vocabulary and explanations to describe the process without unnecessary repetition.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

172 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The diagram showing how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in Australia town.

Fully explain your ideas

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Should everyone have a gun at home? Agree or Disagree?

Traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has negative effect on family and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?