IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to the manager of a prestigious, successful company, inviting them to consider your resume and thus your employment.

#manager #company #employment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear
sir
Capitalize word
Sir
show examples
/Madam I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to bring your attention to my CV which I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sent you
couple
Add an article
a couple
show examples
 of days ago. I am a graphic designer and I am keen to have the required position in your great company. I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you observe every
details
Change to a singular noun
detail
show examples
 of my portfolio; significant items are mentioned there.
For instance
Linking Words
, my academic background, degrees and university are pointed out; the applications and skills
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 I am
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
are indicated; some of my
designs
Fix the agreement mistake
design
show examples
 samples are represented with demanded details;
also
Linking Words
, the companies which I worked with
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are mentioned too. Indeed, I hardly try to be creative in my career and consider
clients
Change noun form
clients'
client's
show examples
 requests for their projects; in
this
Linking Words
 way, the final designs bear worthy qualifications.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I am a good team player so I try to regard diverse attitudes and points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, and I adapt myself to various circumstances as soon as possible. Actually, I am an organized person and I think
aspect
Correct determiner usage
this aspect
show examples
 of me is beneficial for working with successful companies like yours. I keenly regard your response. Respectfully, Miss Ghazaleh Shadman
Submitted by shaghayegh95shadman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, make sure to introduce the purpose of your letter in the opening paragraph, and then clearly divide your information into relevant sections.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph deals with a single idea. For instance, combine all aspects of your qualifications, like academic background and work experience, in one paragraph.
task achievement
To achieve an even more complete response, convey how your skills specifically align with the needs and projects of the company.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are respectful and appropriate for a formal letter.
task achievement
The letter responds well to the task by speaking about your qualifications and experiences.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is suitable for a professional appeal.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: