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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the rate of exports in five different categories including
petroleum
Use synonyms
, engineered goods, valuable stones, agricultural
products
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, and
textiles
Use synonyms
 in 2015 and 2016. It can be seen that the highest percentage belongs to
petroleum
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products
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the least one is
textiles
Use synonyms
 and agricultural
products
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, in 2015, the most popular export
products
Use synonyms
 were
petroleum
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products
Use synonyms
 with $60
billion
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
followed by engineering goods with just under $60
billion
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.
While
Linking Words
 gems and
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
 had just over $40
billion
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 in 2015 among export
products
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, agricultural
products
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, and
textiles
Use synonyms
 had $30
billion
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 and just under $30
billion
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, respectively. When it comes in 2016, there was a slight increase in
petroleum
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 from $60 to approximately $65
billion
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.
Next,
Linking Words
engineering goods illustrated a similar rise by reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over $60
billion
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, valuable stones had unique changes when compared to others, there was a decrease of around $2
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2016.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 and
textiles
Use synonyms
 increased their pies in export trade in 2016, by climbing over $30
billion
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words petroleum, products, textiles, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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