IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Writing task 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You work at home and have problems with the equipment you see for work. Write a letter to the store or company that supplied the equipment. In your letter . describe equipment problems . explain how this problem affects your work . Tell us what you want the store or company to do Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to enter any address. Start your letter like this: Dear Sir or Madam,

#minutes #work #home #equipment #store #company #address #sir #madam
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, There is always work in my house. And my equipment
also
 suffers some problems. I need to fix my sofa, my chair, my desk. Because they are so old and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not have any money to buy many new furniture. But
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can fix
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. But there are
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the worst problems. The problems are
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 my
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. And my yard
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
planding
Correct your spelling
planting
planning
 a tree,
wateering
Correct your spelling
watering
 the
flovers
Correct your spelling
flowers
 and
anothers
Correct your spelling
others
. And
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 need to fix it. I have a
shovel
.
The my
Remove the article
My
show examples
shovel
 has got a problem. His problem is his handle is
break
Wrong verb form
broken
show examples
. And my
axe
. My
axe
 is tipless. When
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am working on
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 outside. I work with my
shovel
 and
axe
. Because
i
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
every day
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 dig my land to plant a tree. My
axe
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 me to chop a
deat
Correct your spelling
few
 trees. But my
axe
 is tipless. And
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can not chop the dead trees
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
. And my
shovel
. His problem
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 his handle. His handle has broken and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can not dig my land to for planting trees and planting
flovers
Correct your spelling
flowers
lovers
. I will bring my
equipmentsto
Correct your spelling
equipment to
equipment
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
too
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 fix them. I hope they can fix my
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
look
Correct word choice
and look
show examples
 like a
new
Correct pronoun usage
new one
show examples
. I look forward to
hear
Wrong verb form
hearing from
show examples
 you. Yours faithfully, Arslonov Jasur
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate different points in their own paragraphs. For example, description of equipment problems, explanation of how these problems affect work, and what you want the company to do should each have their own paragraphs.
task achievement
Use more specific and formal language. For example, instead of saying 'my shovel has got a problem', you could say 'the handle of my shovel is broken'. This will help to convey your issues more clearly and professionally.
task achievement
Proofread your writing to fix grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'The my shovel' should be 'My shovel' and 'His problem is handle is break' should be 'Its handle is broken'.
task achievement
You have made a reasonable attempt to explain the problems and how they affect your work.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully used an appropriate greeting and closing for a formal letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: