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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given graphic depicts the percentages of ladies in senior management in three companies from 1975 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, Eldan
Ltd
Use synonyms
 started the period with the lowest percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 in senior positions and finished with the highest proportion. Finsbury
Ltd
Use synonyms
,
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 had begun the period with the highest rate of
women
Use synonyms
 and
,
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 ended with the lowest. Bamford
Ltd
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,
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 remained stable over the years. Eldan
Ltd
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, in 1975, started with only 3% of
women
Use synonyms
 in
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 positions, increasing the number of ladies to 14% by 1985. In 1990 doubled the rate at 28%. The number of females went up considerably by 2000 and reached 64% in 2015. Bamforth
Ltd
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,
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 started in 1975 with 9% of
women
Use synonyms
 in senior management and
on
Punctuation problem
, on
show examples
average
Punctuation problem
average,
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 remained stable throughout the years, being senior
women
Use synonyms
 almost half of the proportion. Finsbury
Ltd
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,
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apply
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 was the company that in 1975 had the highest number of
women
Use synonyms
 in the highest responsibilities
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 16%. In 1985, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 decreased to 15% and
,
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apply
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 in 1990, the percentage went up to 22% finishing the period at 26%.
This
Linking Words
 company had the lowest rate of
women
Use synonyms
 in senior positions.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ltd, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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