IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #participation #women #management #three #companies #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph displays the
percentage
 of
women
 managers in Eldan
Ltd
, Bamforth
Ltd
 and Finsbury
Ltd
 from 1975 to 2015.
Overall
, the participation of females in senior management tended to go up
year
 after
year
 in the 3 companies
finished
Correct pronoun usage
that finished
show examples
 the period Eldan
Ltd
 with the highest
percentage
, Bamford
Ltd
 with second place and Finsbury
Ltd
 with the lowest proportion. Eldan
Ltd
 in 1975 and 1980 had the lowest participation of
women
 in management,
however
 from 1980 to 2015 the proportion abruptly increased throughout the years
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in 2015 the company with the highest proportion of
women
 participating in senior management with 64% of workers. Finsbury
Ltd
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 started in 1975 with the highest
percentage
 of
women
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 16%, but throughout the years the
percentage
 of senior managers slightly decreased
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
1990 and 2015 the years with most
women
 working
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 20% and 26% respectively. Bamford
Ltd
 started with 9% in 1975, but,
year
 after
year
 the participation of
women
 slightly increased reaching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place with 46% of
women
 managers in 2015.
Submitted by daniruspi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, women, ltd, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: