In many countries it is very easy to apply for and be given credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debt they cannot pay back. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Although

Linking Words

credit

Use synonyms

cards are easily approved in several countries,

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

these quick approvals can sometimes lead to the problem of bad debt for banks.

This

Linking Words

essay will demonstrate how early approvals can generate benefits like liquidity and ease for customers but at the same time can lead to bigger

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

such

Linking Words

uncertainity

Correct your spelling

uncertainty

for banks and bad

credit

Use synonyms

score

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

show examples

for customers.

Whilist

Correct your spelling

While

acknowledging that there are plenty advantages of

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

to this

show examples

scheme, the essay will argue that the advantages outweigh

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

Due to

Linking Words

cut

throad

Correct your spelling

throat

competition in

finance

Add an article

the finance

show examples

industry to attract more and more

customer

Fix the agreement mistake

customers

show examples

, one very famous big

bank

Use synonyms

called icici

bank

Use synonyms

came up with a scheme called "easy apply, quick approvals".

this

Linking Words

scheme claimed that it won't take more than 5 min for a customer to apply

and

Change preposition

for and

show examples

approve a

credit

Use synonyms

card

while

Linking Words

sitting at home.

This

Linking Words

product provided instant liquidity and

convinence

Correct your spelling

convenience

to many, people now

instead

Linking Words

of borrowing money from their parents or friends can just apply for

Use synonyms

credit

Add an article

a credit

the credit

show examples

card

Change preposition

with

show examples

a click.

This

Linking Words

gave people a sense of financial stability and reduced financial stress of many.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

sense of financial stability came with a price tag, which people realised quite late. The interest charged on these

credit

Use synonyms

cards

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

much higher than a personal loan from a

bank

Use synonyms

, which ultimately

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

Correct article usage

the unability

show examples

unability

Correct your spelling

inability

populance

Correct your spelling

populace

to repay the

bank

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

unability

Correct your spelling

inability

Change preposition

show examples

repayment

Replace the word

repay

show examples

not only

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to a bad

credit

Use synonyms

score it

also

Linking Words

refrains them

to get

Change preposition

from getting

show examples

any

further

Linking Words

loan

Fix the agreement mistake

loans

show examples

from a financial authority in the future.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

burden of debt

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

many mentally and directed many in the wrong direction.

To conclude

Linking Words

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

credit

Use synonyms

cards provide numerous benefits to an individual's financial state

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

also

Linking Words

puts

Wrong verb form

put

show examples

a person in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

financial distress if unable to make the repayment on time.

Hence

Linking Words

, the negative effects of

this

Linking Words

financial product

definately

Correct your spelling

definitely

outweigh its benefits.

vasudha.gupta0818Fri Aug 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

Avoid using conversational language and ensure that your essay maintains an academic tone. For instance, instead of saying "eventhough," write "even though."

coherence cohesion

Provide stronger links between paragraphs to improve the logical flow of ideas. This can help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Introduce more specific examples and statistics to support your points. This can strengthen your argument and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Proofread your work for small grammatical mistakes and proper punctuation. Ensuring your sentences are grammatically correct will make your essay clearer.

task achievement

Your essay provides a well-rounded view of the advantages and disadvantages of easy access to credit cards, showing both sides of the argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a good introduction and conclusion, which clearly present the main topic and summarize your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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In many countries it is very easy to apply for and be given credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debt they cannot pay back. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

There are those who consider work to be the paramount aspect of life, suggesting that without career success, life loses its meaning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

To what extent has the internet made life more convenient? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.