The chart below shows the percentage of men and women who did various leisure time activities in England in 2006.

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The graph illustrates the proportion of

men

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and

women

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who did different activities in their free

time

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in England in 2006.

overall

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, watching TV is the most popular activity out of all and the least is playing computer games.

Furthermore

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, in shopping, there is a huge difference between the usage of genders.

To begin

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with, watching TV is the most used by both

women

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and

men

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in their free

time

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, with nearly 80%.

Moreover

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women

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played computer games almost half of the

men

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and even combined of their

time

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spent in the least compared to the others. In 2006,

men

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did not go shopping in their leisure

time

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Furthermore

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, the internet used by

men

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is double that of

women

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like computer games. spending

time

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with family, doing sports or exercise and reading have an average of 79, 77 and 75 per cent respectively. None of them exceeded 80 per cent in both

women

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and

men

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except when watching TV.

amir.lajevardi84Sat Aug 17 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, time with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

159 words

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The chart below shows the percentage of men and women who did various leisure time activities in England in 2006.

some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What could be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem?