Many employees may work at home with modern technology. Some people claim that it benefits only the workers, but not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,
technologic
improvements allow individuals to Replace the word
technological
work
remotely. According to
many, this
development is positive for only employees, yet not for the bosses. I totally disagree with this
view on the grounds that working at home decreases office
expendatures
and as employers Correct your spelling
expenditures
expenditure
also
go to work
, they benefit the
same advantages Change preposition
from the
with
workers.
Implemented in Change preposition
as
pandemic
period, remote working changed companies' routine Add an article
the pandemic
system
. With Fix the agreement mistake
systems
this
revolutionary upgrade, both job owners and their staff have been economically comfortable. Whereas
workers had to spend for food and transportation, today these
Correct determiner usage
this
spendatures
Correct your spelling
spending
have
been eliminated. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Moreover
, since nobody has to go to the office
, employers also
got rid of particular expenses such
as office
bills, rent, and food.
Furthermore
, as well as
staff, upper management also
must be at office
in order to observe workflow. Add an article
the office
Therefore
, benefits that have been obtained by employees as the
result of working at home are valid for them too. Bosses can Correct article usage
a
work
in their home's lovely athmosphere
. They do not have to dress up, Correct your spelling
atmosphere
for instance
, or do not need to spend large amounts of money and time to arrive workplace. In this
context, they may sustain their both family and work
lives. Hence
, this
new revolutionary regulation is utterly favourable for each side.
In conclusion, due to
the fact that regardless their rank, remotely working affects every working person positively in humane
and Correct your spelling
inhumane
economical
aspects.Replace the word
economic
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task achievement
Try to further develop some arguments with more detailed examples or statistics. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Work on ensuring all of your points are well-supported. Some areas could use a bit more evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious with minor grammar errors and word choices, such as 'spendatures'. Use 'expenses' instead, which is more commonly used and grammatically correct.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure the flow between your ideas is smooth within and between paragraphs. While your logical structure is solid, it can be improved with more seamless transitions and clearer sentence structures.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument. This provides a clear structure for your essay.
task achievement
You successfully present a complete and clear response to the task question, addressing both perspectives on the issue.
task achievement
Main points are generally well-supported and relevant to the topic.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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